Showtime!

May 31/11

Went to a very special performance tonight! My daughter Kate, wrote a complex play called The Prince Spectrum. I saw the first play-reading at Rosedale Heights School of the Arts!

The story focuses on feminism, chivalry and transsexuality. Kate not only wrote it, but had a leading role. I was allowed backstage to take an exclusive shot of the cast, just before showtime! Break a leg gang!

From left to right: Kathleen, Kate, Ben, Cadence, Zoe
All five performers did a fabulous job. Really, just blew me away with their energy, focus and talent.

Got past security and signs to get a picture with the playwright/leading lady! (I know, I'm proud of her! Does it show? - And can you blame me? The kid is awesome!)

Lain & Kate
Mr. Sketchley, the principal, was in the audience (which meant a lot to me), and I hear he thought the play-reading was phenomenal!

Drama teacher, Kim Snider, believes the play is so good, it's ready to be submitted to Buddies in Bad Times and to other queer theatre companies for consideration!

Kate & Damian
Afterwards, Kate was thrilled with the response to the whole event, (and couldn't say enough about her castmates)! She and her boyfriend, Damian walked back to our place, and I left the school feeling so happy and grateful that both of our kids attend such an inspirational, free-spirited high school, where everyone is welcomed with open arms and appreciated for their unique gifts.

Rosedale rules! I fought hard to get Kate & Max into this school - best thing I EVER did as a Mum!

Short shorts

May 31/11

Weather words today? - hot and very steamy!
Solution? - Short shorts!

Haven't owned any in years, but I do now! At The Bay a couple of weeks ago buying new Hue legging jeans, I thought, too bad Hue doesn't make these things in shorts. Turned to leave and bam! A whole rack of them! Kicky, cute and comfy. Bought the shortest pair I could find, put them away, and today's the day! Can't remember the last time I felt the breeze on bare legs! (maybe way back in August at Fern Resort in Orillia).

Bring on the short shorts! - A walk in the park
Ended up in our backyard, which is lush and gorgeous after all the rain we've had lately.

Still a lot of time till my next Princess Margaret Hospital visits for results and treatment. Spending some time reading. Everyone tells me a positive attitude is key. One book given to me is all about visualization -imagining yourself the picture of health, all ills falling or melting away.

There are plenty of wild and crazy things I can easily visualize - perfectly, clearly and in great detail, without even trying! But that completely clean bill of health image is a tougher one to conjure up. Workin' on it!

For now, guess I'll just take in the sunshine. This kind of day should make us ALL feel better! Going out to buy a case of Nestea Zero and put it on ice. Cheers, - and keep cool!

Idol withdrawal! - (already)

May 30/11

Thinking ahead...HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT IDOL THIS WEEK?

To quote Ed Grimley, "I'm doomed as doom can be!!"

Wednesdays won't be Wednesdays without Ryan, Randy, JLo and STEVEN!!!

As my great friend, Bonnie Laufer says, - "I'll have to get a life"!
NOOOOOOOOOO!

Tonight, I'm restricted to House repeats. (granted, ANY House is
better than NO House!) Guess I'll take what I can get.

Summer replacements aren't gonna cut it for me.

What IS cutting it for me (on a hot day like Monday?), - short shorts!

Haven't worn them (or even owned them) in years. But I do now! And they're coming soon, - to a blog site near you!

Bob McAdorey

May 30/11

I was thinking the other day about middle-aged ladies who are "cougars." I suddenly realized, I'm the least cougar-like woman I know! (One day, while watching The View, I heard Barbara Walters ask, "What's a cougar?" Oh, Come on now Barbara, get with it! But just in case anyone doesn't know, - it's an older woman who seeks out or prefers relationships with younger men, OK?)

ALL the men I love, am crazy about or feel passion for are over 55 or more! Sure, I can appreciate a gorgeous young face, but what's up with the older guy thing? I think it's that they've hit their stride, (sometimes) mellowed, found their course, their direction, understand things about the world, are more relaxed and just generally "get it." (maybe not always, but often).

Although I'm in this age range myself, I have to discount myself from this "stable mode", (as I'm currently falling apart at the seams), but I hope to get it together one of these days.

Even when I was younger, I appreciated older guys. - About to hit you with my best example now, and it's my pleasure to talk about him!

For 18 wild years, I had the good fortune of working with Bob McAdorey at Global Television. He passed away in February, 2005, but he's always with me.

When I joined Global in 1984, (I was 28), - Bob was 49 and in his glory! He was known as one of the "Three Nice Guys" of the News at Noon. (along with John Dawe and Mike Anscombe).

Having no experience in TV, I was a nervous wreck, but little did I know, I'd be learning from the best! With the help of all three "nice guys", I was given the chance to learn how to anchor the entertainment segment from time to time and it was always a blast. Some people say, looking back on their career, they realize now they didn't appreciate what they had. I knew EXACTLY what I had - my dream job, and I appreciated every deadline- driven minute of it. The excitement and adrenaline kick of that high stress was absolutely mind-blowing and thrilling.

Within a very short time, I developed a major crush on Bob. I didn't even actually realize it at first. I just knew I liked being around him and helping him get crazy ideas onto the air. (mostly, that job fell to producers Kim Gertler, Leslie Elston and Bonnie Laufer Krebs, but I did what I could, and in the later years, after a lot of job shuffling at the station, I became more of an assistant to him). In watching him every day, his on-air appeal seemed to have no bounds. He would do anything and loved to shock the viewers (and all of us who worked with him too!)

It was Bob's daughter, Colleen (who worked in the news library), who first recognized and told me I had a crush on her Dad, and then, I had to admit it! How could I NOT have "crushed" on the man? He was so irreverent, quick on the draw and witty. Humour has always been at the top of my hit list and Bob was hysterically funny. I once told him, if it's true that laughter is the best medicine, then I should be the healthiest person on the planet just from working with him. (guess I haven't been laughing enough THESE days, eh?)

Happy days with Bob! Wearing a pregnancy top - expecting, (but not by Bob!) - You can see the celeb photos I put up at my desk behind me
Sometimes, I attended events as "Bob's date." Really just a friend or escort, but we always had fun together.

Party time with all the girls! (left to right), Ola, Vicki, Bonnie, Elaine, (NEXT to Bob, of course!), Bob, Irene
As great as it was to work with him, he could also be exasperating. He was moody, tempermental and hit high points of anger in a flash, (though they usually subsided just as quickly). I learned to swear from Bob, which I KNOW is the reason swearing doesn't bother me in the least to this day. I hardly notice it at all, (thanks to him). In fact, when I changed jobs and went to work at Tribute (the movie magazine), I couldn't understand the politeness. Then one day, I overheard a website guy next door to my office, screaming obscenities into the phone. After he hung up, he came over to apologize to me. I thanked him for the tirade and told him I FINALLY felt at home! (he didn't get it).

One day, it was announced that our entertainment co-worker Rob Davidson, (an old pal of mine from radio days), was leaving the department to handle the business show. I was broken-hearted and gave Rob a farewell card and a good luck hug for the new venture. Of course, I was taking pictures (as always). Bob wasn't Rob's biggest supporter (they clashed a bit), so when he saw me taking photos, Bob insisted on staging a mock cry-fest for Rob - right in his presence!

Bob whimpers over Rob Davidson's sad departure from entertainment

Meanwhile, my buddy Rob, took the whole thing in stride!
Years after joining Global, the station launched Entertainment Desk, a half-hour daily live show featuring Bob as host. All of us played a role in pulling the show together (especially Bonnie Laufer Krebs, whom Bob nicknamed "Bulldog Bonnie" due to her tenacity when it came to nabbing good guests for the show!)

I did daily reports for the show, and appeared weekly with Bob to talk daytime drama on my "Soap Chat" segments - Those were the days!

Bob LOVED doing Ent Desk and talking to all the celebs, like Carole Pope of Rough Trade!

And Jerry Mathers as "The Beav!"

Bob with actor/singer Robert Morse

Burton Cummings was always a HUGE McAdorey fan because of Bob's many years as a radio DJ with CHUM!
Once, I went with Bob to Disney World in Florida to cover some big events there. We all had on site hotel rooms. Here, producer John McKenna and I rigged up a makeshift "studio" in Bob's room, using a mattress against a wall as a "sound baffle"! What a laugh!

At one point, Bob had to undergo eye surgery. He shocked us all when he said it had been "botched" and he was forced to take time off to recuperate and had to wear an eyepatch. We all felt horrible for him. I had no idea that due to his absence, I would get the chance to take over the hosting duties on Ent Desk for nine months! I missed Bob so much, but at the same time, it was a baptism by fire in learning about doing LIVE TV!

Hosting Entertainment Desk - What an opportunity!

Interviewing Timothy Dalton
In between all the work, there were always parties!

Another bash with Bob! - top row, Marion Graham, husband Brian, me, Rick Dade, Bob, front row, Stephanie Rogers, Frank Mahon, Steffi Black
When Bob wasn't at work, he liked to spend time at his house in Niagara-on-the-Lake. I remember visiting there when he had the black patch on his eye. He missed doing his job, but adored that house.

I was asked to speak at Bob's funeral in 2005. I had left Global (in part, due to suffering panic attacks when I had to go live on the air), so the thought of speaking in public, terrorized me. But I was honoured to be given the chance to sing his praises, and with enough beta blockers in me, I was able to do it.

John Dawe drove me to the service and practically had to push me up the aisle to the podium. After a deep breath, I spoke to the crowd about my special relationship with Bob. I told everyone about the time I'd had a fight with my husband and was crying in the office. When Bob heard what the problem was, he went out and bought me a card. He gave it to me, and inside, it said, "Forget HIM. I LOVE YOU!!"

On my 40th birthday he gave me a cane decorated in flowers! (I still have it). I paid him back on his 64th birthday by lugging in a boom box, waiting for him to walk in the office and then blasting him with The Beatles' - "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64!" (he hated birthdays)

One Christmas, I baked him a fruitcake. (I was nuts). The cake turned out like a brick. He laughed when I gave it to him and put it on the floor to use as a door stop!

The last time I heard from him was in the form of a pretty, floral Valentine that showed up in my mailbox. I opened up the card and the message he had carefully written said, "I love you so much I can't shit."
To this day, my most memorable Valentine ever. I bring it out every February 14th as a "decoration" for my dining table.

Bob had a lot of sadness in his life. I always wondered how he could put it behind him enough to make others laugh, when he was suffering so much pain. But he did it. There was never a day I didn't love him.

I ended my speech at his funeral by saying, "Every Friday night after work, the two of us would sit in the entertainment office together to wind down after a wild week. We rarely talked about movies or stars, but mostly about food, recipes, his MG, the good old radio days at CHUM, children and grandchildren. Those things were most important to him and made his life worth living. Bob certainly brought a lot of happiness, light and laughter into my life, and I'll never forget him."

Regrets

May 30/11

Just drove Kate to an 11:40 class. On the way over to the school, a streetcar passed us, an advertisement plastered on the side. It said,
Regret Nothing. (didn't catch what the ad was for).

Nice thought. Not sure it's achievable.

Working on a new blog entry for later. It's about an old friend, the late, great Bob McAdorey. Don't know if I can do the man justice, but will try.

I miss him in this world.

Just a "regular" day

May 29/11.

Hangin' in a holding pattern, waiting for the *#*# to hit the fan. (as usual). Took off in my car - (love my blue Subaru and driving. It represents - FREEDOM! Anybody wanna hitch a ride with me? - Let's GO! - NOW!) Going to pick up my Mum-in-law for some grocery shopping. I've been neglecting my duties as a daughter-in-law a lot since my own troubles. Miss seeing my parents-in-law as often as I used to. They are amazing, loving and always there for me.

Don'tcha love it when your clothes match the car? Ya, I planned it. (not!)

My daughter, Kate, is a much better model than I am. She knows all the moves!
Drove to Lawrence & Bathurst to pick up "Mum B" and went to Metro at Lawrence Plaza (where I have spent countless hours in the past, buying things for my Mum. Those check-out clerks know me well!) As usual, my Mum-in-law is ever-generous. She bought me some rye bread for the family plus presented me with a big box of Dunn's famous frozen smoked meat she picked up at COSTCO. (ever tried it? - REALLY good!)

Best parents-in-law in the universe, - Ben & Jean Bornstein!
I got some fresh raspberries and strawberries at Metro because Max's girlfriend, Robyn, is coming for dinner. Sam bought chicken skewers at St. Lawrence Market and is barbequing on the deck. Let's see, what else to serve? Rice? Potatoes? Salad? Not sure yet.

After leaving my parents-in-law's place, drove a couple of blocks over to Mum's old house. Collected the mail and flyers and just looked at that pretty little property. She's not there anymore. Once it goes on the market, it will be bulldozed to build a monster home. I'll miss seeing it, but I have to remember how well it served her for so many years. All the fantastic memories - in my brain - forever.

Before driving away from the house, turned back to look, only wishing Mum was standing there in the doorway, waving goodbye to me, as she ALWAYS did. Where ever you are Mum, I love you.

Thinking out loud

May 28/11

Went on a "photo shoot" today in the Beaches. Sam was the photog and took some pics on the boardwalk and by the lake.

Quite often these days, people will ask how I'm doing, or coping. My stock answer is, "Hangin' in there." But let me see if I can actually formulate a response to those questions.

It's hard to describe what I'm feeling of late, except to say, my mind and heart seem to be living in a state of "heightened intensity." Everything seems bigger, more important, more "white hot" than it used to be. It's how I imagine it might feel being on a mind-bending drug, like LSD, (although I'm completely drug-free). In some ways, I guess it's fun and trippy, but on the flip side, kinda scary.

(Click pics to enlarge, so you, too, can "duplicate" my heightened state of reality!)

What to DO with this burning excess energy and mind-racing, I'm not sure, except to just let 'er rip and take off where ever it wants to go, hoping it won't spin out of control or hit a wall.

Is it out there? Over the top? Hormonal? Possible I guess. Or is it simply the way someone responds when "normal life" is tossed right out of whack? My whole way of thinking seems distorted, skewed, conflicted. I want to do things differently, explore, thrill-seek, electrify, feel things more deeply, live, talk to people I can't reach, see people I know I can't see.

I AM clear on one thing. Part of this is body-related. I'm so happy Dr. McCready was able to save my breast (since I've always loved having them - see March 28th blog entry - "The Love of Breasts" in March archive!), and it's a kick being slimmer and able to wear tight clothes, if I so desire - (after all those horrifying hospital gowns!), and to feel like a real woman again.

I don't want to go gentle into that good night - but to burn and rave at close of day - and rage, rage against the dying of the light! (thank you Dylan Thomas. You got THAT right!)

I want to put it out there! (but what's IT? - and WHERE?) No clue.
Maybe right here, and just for ME, so I know I'm alive. Or maybe, for YOU, (whomever is reading). Look out!

See what I mean? "Heightened reality." As William Shatner would say,
"Weird or what??"

And to quote Norman Bates (my all-time favourite horror movie character from Psycho), "We ALL go a little mad sometimes, haven't you?"

The apprehension game

May 27/11

Waiting for results is really tough. Hate it. Meanwhile, the appointments are piling up. I'm sittin' here (NOT by the dock of the bay - only wish!), writing down the full list of upcoming visits to Princess Margaret Hospital (so far).

Got word today that I'll learn the results of the $5,000 Oncotype DX diagnostic test at an appointment with Dr. Amir (Medical Oncologist) on June 14th at 11:30 a.m. Gee, only 18 days to bite my nails. (if I had any).

Good God, do I ever need a haircut! Insanity reigns! (or is it, "Serenity NOW!?!")

From what I've read, the Doc will receive a report that includes my Recurrence Score. An R.S. lower than 18 suggests a low risk of recurrence and that the benefit of chemotherapy is likely to be small and will not outweigh the risks (and horrible side effects).

An R.S. between 18 and 31 indicates intermediate risk of recurrence.
Information seems unclear as to whether the benefits of chemotherapy outweigh the risks of side effects.

An R.S. greater than 31 indicates a high risk of recurrence, and the benefits of chemotherapy are likely to be greater than the risks of side effects.

Apparently, some women who have had the Oncotype DX, later learned it was a "failure" or "incomplete" because there wasn't enough sample left from their tumour to actually carry out the test! How disappointing and frustrating would THAT be?

At any rate, all I can do is wait it out. So, in the meantime, here's a pic of my daughter, Kate, and her boyfriend, Damian. Took it while I was outside writing notes.

Cute, eh?
On the same day I meet with Dr. Amir, I also have an appointment at the "Survivorship Clinic." As I've quickly learned, cancer is a life-altering experience in many ways. Princess Margaret Hospital staffers say it's important that patients have a sense of courage, (me, courage??), confidence and control to assist them in knowing, navigating and negotiating their journey, so survivorship consults are offered.

A few weeks ago, a longtime friend of mine told me if I feel I need help with my fears and emotions, not to be afraid to seek professional help.

I thought I was doing OK, (sort of), till learning of this long wait before finding out about chemo, - and then was handed brochures about the joys of radiation therapy. At that moment, I met Shahnaz Bassiri, an oncology nurse with a true gift for kindness and compassion. Next thing I knew, I was crying in her sympathetic aura and telling her I'd like to see a therapist to talk things through. (Never been to one in my life, but guess now's the time). She quickly arranged a referral. So, seems I'll be meeting with someone (I believe a psychosocial oncology representative) on June 22nd. I'd better remember to bring Kleenex.

So much fun!

May 26/11

"Date night with Dean" was an absolute blast! Dean Rogers is a man who makes things happen. He does it ALL THE TIME. And every once in a while, he makes things happen for ME!

Hanging with my high school pal, Dean, at Yonge & Eglinton, outside Absolute Comedy Knight Out!

As one of the organizers for the Northern Secondary School Foundation's Absolute Comedy Knight Out, he helped orchestrate an evening of fun, food and fantastic entertainment at 2335 Yonge Street (former location of the uptown Yuk Yuk's).

Had a wonderful few hours talking about everything under the sun with Dean and two other terrific seatmates (whom I'd never met before) - Penny and Steve, at a ringside table. (Penny is a Northern graduate, same as me, - although, technically, I didn't ever really graduate - just kinda "coasted" into college). We all enjoyed a delectable buffet dinner and some great conversation. I chose to take the TTC to the venue at rush hour (which was trippy). I NEVER drink and drive - not even one sip. I was the only "lush" at the table, enjoying a rare, straight-up, ice-cold vodka martini with 3 olives - (shaken, not stirred, I THINK!) - SO good!, and later, some crisp, chilled Pinot Grigio. (gotta treat yourself once in a while, right?)

Immediately after the show, wanted to take pics with the stars for the blog, so rushed off to catch them, but in doing so, missed the opportunity to say goodbye to my new friends. Hope they'll forgive me and see this online! - Penny & Steve - SO great to meet you both! Thanks for all the inspiration and - here's to nostalgia! (Steve has come through TWO hip replacements and was kind enough to share some of his insights with me into the nature of surgery, the camaraderie at hospitals and the reasons why reflecting so much on the past may NOT be quite as bad as I think!)

The comedy show was emceed by the adorable and hilarious young Darryl Purvis from Antigonish, Nova Scotia. As a lifelong standup comedy fanatic, I was in heaven just watching him in action. He's the kind of guy who can make you forget your troubles, - just sit back and marvel at his ability to roll with the punches, go with the flow and have fun with the crowd, no matter what convoluted line is tossed his way. One of his opening stories, about moving to Toronto, landing in a place on Bloor Street just opposite the Brunswick House on Halloween was worth the price of admission alone!

Meeting the terrific Darryl Purvis! - Big things will happen for him!
Next, heard from Steve Scholtz, who had me in hysterics, especially in a bit about his inability to see without glasses. ("Is that a mugger I see, or a patchwork quilt??" - I can relate!)

Steve Scholtz - Very funny!
Then MORE entertainment from Matt O'Brien, a real doll with twinkling eyes. (reminded me of a young Al Pacino, but with wilder hair!) He got me laughing about life in Toronto and his advice to keep your head down and never look anyone in the eyes when you walk the streets. He quipped, "I looked up once and a guy told me to calm down!"

Don't want to spoil his other material, but have to say, his take on, "The best nights of your life are unplanned," was beautiful. I'll remember it the next time I run into a barrel of marbles in a parking lot! (guess you hadda BE there!)

Matt O'Brien - captivating!
Another young comedienne on the bill - Keesha Brownie. Great performance, but wish I could have seen more!

Keesha Brownie - Cute and edgy
Last, (but definitely not least) - headliner Doug Funk! When he first walked on stage, thought he was a Craig Ferguson "lookalike", but he's VERY different. Extremely engaging and phenomenally talented, he covered SO many topics, had amazing interaction with the audience, - (especially the beautiful - SaraHHHHH), and talked about learning and how we can ALL learn something wild and new every day. Loved it when he stopped the whole act to say, "I went TOO fast, TOO furious - don't feel like telling jokes anymore!" (but he did!)

I'm embarrassed to say I've never seen Doug perform live before, considering the many years he's been an entertainer, but I immediately bought his CD, (which he so kindly wanted to give me for free, but I insisted on buying it!) See him LIVE! Can't wait to listen to the disc in my car. Kate & Max will love it!

How could you NOT flip for this guy?? - I mean REALLY!
Eyes are the windows to the soul. Have always had a thing about eyes. I don't know Doug at ALL, but he has SO much "flashing" (well, you know what I mean!) - directly at you from those eyes on stage. Humour, (of course!), but also strength, emotion, pathos, understanding, sarcasm, - EVERYTHING. You name it.

So Dean, my friend, all I can say to you is - THANK YOU for a fabulous evening and for walking me to the subway! Ever the gentleman and always the best host!

Date night

May 26/11

Can't believe it, but I'm going on a date tonight! Yep.
My friend, Dean Rogers, asked me weeks ago if I'd like to attend the "Absolute Comedy Knight Out" - (buffet dinner and live comedy show), presented by the Northern Secondary School Foundation. (our old high school). I told him, if all was well, I'd go with him.

Dean and I first met as teens at Northern and had several classes together, including drama. Once, we did scenes from A Streetcar Named Desire. Dean played Stanley Kowalski and I was Blanche Dubois! What a riot. He has often referred to me as, "my Blanche."

Over the last few years, we've kept in touch , sharing what he calls, "Mommy stories," during my Mum's illness and death, followed (only months later) by HIS Mum's declining health and then, her death, just a few weeks ago. We've both been through some very sad times. The funeral for his Mum is early next month. Dean says we need a laugh, and I have to agree, so tonight's the night!

If Dean gives permission, I'll post a pic of him at the event later tonight. (we haven't changed a bit, right Dean??)

I'm not all that big on reflecting on the high school days. (as Steve Carrell says in Little Miss Sunshine, "High school - those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that". Can't disagree. I flunked just about everything, (except English, music and drama). The teachers were at a complete loss as to what the hell to do with me.

Much preferred being 19! That's when life really changed for the better in a big way! I went to Seneca College, met amazing people and studied things I actually LIKED and excelled at. If not for Seneca, I can't imagine what I would have done! Those intense two years led to decades of work in the media, spanning radio, TV and print.

Still, there were a few good things that came out of "the Northern experience," including meeting and working with Bill and Evelyn Tummon, (greatest music teachers ever born), as well as long-standing friendships with Dean and my other old pal, Jeffrey Morgan.

Well, here's to date night! (Sam, are you jealous?)

Whatever

May 26/11

Mood today? Sad.
Can't help it. Just am.

IDOL RULES!!!!!!!!!

May 25/11

In LOVE with the season finale of IDOL tonight! What a production!
Did someone say cancer? - FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT!
HOTTEST SHOW EVER!

My son, Max snapped this pic in a commercial break from the show, after dancing up a storm (ME, not him!) during that terrific, (and hilarious) Tom Jones medley! (gotta love Tom!)

The producers sure know how to hit you where it counts! - or hurts, - or, feels good, makes you move, shake, shimmy (whatever shimmy means) - or strikes home, or - hell, I don't-even-know!

Beyonce? WOWWWWW! She sizzles.

Plus Tim McGraw! Jack Black! The return of James Durbin (with Judas Priest)! And JLo hitting the dance floor (shakin' her booty in fringe and fabulous fishnets!) with hubby Marc? Can't beat THAT combo! (click pic to enlarge and check out those stockings!)

Just blast me with the electric fan right now!

Oh, and congrats to Scotty! New King of Idol!

Radiation news

May 25/11

Back from my first appointment with Dr. Anne Koch, oncologist in the Radiation Medicine Program at Princess Margaret. It was also the first appointment I've attended alone.

Today's pic was snapped by Jerry, a hospital security guard who told me, "This is where the media always takes their shots!"
Dr. Koch is a beautiful young woman who was very giving of her time and helped me to understand everything that lies ahead. She was happy to hear I'd decided to go ahead with the Oncotype DX test (the one that costs $5,000 - government funded - and the tissue has to be sent to a lab in Redwood City, California).

She says that though my pathology report indicates I'm low risk in all areas for a recurrence, it would still be reassuring to know the results of this special test. Dr. Koch is hopeful (as am I), that it will indicate low risk. If that's the case, then I won't have to undergo chemo and can jump to radiation and Tamoxifen. The only drag is, the results from California won't come back for about three weeks, which means everything else gets put on hold until then.

If, by any chance, the Oncotype DX shows HIGH risk, then I'd need chemo, followed up by radiation a month later, plus Tamoxifen.

During my examination, Dr. Koch said she could certainly see I'd been through quite a bit of pain following surgery, judging by the bruising and swelling, but she's optomistic things will improve a lot over the next few weeks.

When it comes time for radiation (which may not begin until the end of June), I'll need 16 treatments, one each day (except on weekends). Dr. Koch says this kind of radiation is generally well tolerated, but also said (based on my surgical experience), I may, (er, let's say, definitely), will have some pain. (Should I haul out the Percocet again?)

Coming up next, I'll need a CT scan, then will get tiny dot "tattoos" to mark the exact area where the radiation beam needs to hit. (never thought I'd be getting tattoos at THIS age! - Rock on!)

I told Dr. Koch about my blog and she said she'll check it out.

Leaving the hospital today, I saw the easel with the daily message. It said, "In the depths of every wound we have survived is the strength we need to live." - Dr. Rachel Remen

Sounds good to me! For now, I'll be getting some "strength" by watching the final episode of Idol! Looks like Scotty is "in it to WIN it!"
(thanks Randy)

To everyone who reads this blog - I'm sending positive thoughts your way, as I feel I have some to spare today!
Love,
Elaine

Heading out again

May 25/11

I love listening to Mike Bullard's Beyond the Mic on NEWSTALK 1010.
He is simply hilarious. I try to catch his show from noon to one, every day, whether at home or out driving. He's really found his niche with his one hour show, (which he jokes, is about all anybody can't stand of him!) Never met the man, but have been addicted to Beyond the Mic since its debut last September. The way he puts words together - skewed, down-to-earth, punchy - pumps up the pizzazz in my day.

He's even got me revved for this afternoon's big appointment with the radiation oncologist. (and that's saying a lot for Mike's talent!) Keep it coming Mike. I need all the laughs I can get!

I HAVE to hear him say, "ITTTTTTTTTTT's FRIIIIIIIIIIDAY!" every week, or my Friday isn't complete!

Great. Now I want it to be FRIDAY. But it isn't. Oh well.

Heading off to Princess Margaret Hospital soon. Will listen to Jim Richards (also fantastically entertaining) on the way there. I'll admit, 1010 has turned me into a raging talk show junkie. (who knew?) I really miss the radio days and these guys make it seem like so much fun.

Jim Richards - cute shot

Will check in later with my results! (Ryan Seacrest, come on down. "We'll have those results for you - right AFTER the break"!!) - It'll be Scotty tonight, right?

A "full-length" version of the cropped denim pic I posted the other day